Friday, June 24, 2016

We Get There When We Get There

When Katie got sick, I just couldn't understand it. I mean I understand that it happens.  I have seen friends, family, loved ones, Television, snd so many other examples of people going through this type of situation, but never thought it would really happen.  But I couldn't understand how this beautiful, innocent, devoted, loving little girl could be given this trial.  I felt hopeless.  I felt alone.  I prayed hard, every moment of everyday, and then I became ever more angry because our prayers were not being answered.  I started to lose my faith.  I started to find more comfort in being angry that anything else, because it seemed to me that my anger was fueling my will to fight for Katie.  But I didn't see everything that was happening around me.  

I recently (and admittedly, DUMB IDEA) watched the movie Miracles from Heaven.  This movie is about a little girl who is perfectly fine and then one day wakes up sick and is diagnosed with a rare incurable disease.  To say the least, this movie hit home for me for so may reasons.  The emotions the mom went through, the battle she fought, the trips she had to take, the fights she had to have with doctors...been there and done it all.  In that movie there was a quote she used from Albert Einstein "There are only two ways to live your life.  One is as though nothing is a miracle, and the other is as though everything is a miracle".  

That quote is so very true and what she said following that quote is also very true for me.  For quite sometime I was not living my life as if everything were a miracle.  I mean how could I?  Katie is still sick, where is the miracle in that?  However, because of my anger I missed a lot. There truly were and still are miracles all around me. Miracles have manifested themselves in small strange ways, like someone just passing though your life at the right time. Miracles are people who come into your life and are there for you no matter what, and at the exact moment that you needed them.  Miracles are people from all over the United States checking in with us to see how Katie is.  Miracles come in so many shapes and sizes and just because my prayer that Katie will just wake up and be perfectly fine hasn't happened, that doesn't mean God isn't hearing me or that miracles aren't still happening to us. Miracles are from God, and the fact that there continues to be small miracles and victories in our life shows me that God is hearing me. I wish I had the answer for why Katie was chosen to be on this path, or why so many children suffer, but I do not.  One thing I do know is that God has stayed with us even when I doubted him.  I have come to realize that when you are faced with something like this, you do doubt, you are angry, you yell at God, you swear you are done with him, think you do not need God in your life, but then "we get there when we get there".  

Everyone has their own way of handling this, some people never lose their faith, some do and eventually find it again, and some do not.  I have become a firm believer that we do get back to God and Faith when we get there, and it happens because deep down, in our heart and soul we let fear and anger hide it, but God and our my faith was never gone. Miracles are God's way of letting us know he is with us, and so for every small miracle that has come into our life, I am thankful for you!

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1 comment:

  1. I was touched by your blog post. Thank you for sharing. Your thoughts on anger robbing you of the joys God still provides was very profound and helpful. I do not know what ails your precious little one, but for any person, I highly recommend seeing an Upper Cervical (Palmer method) Specialist. They do not crack, twist, or pop the spine as other chiropractors do, but specialize in the only two back bones with names: The Atlas and the Axis. Their job is to analyze the tilt and rotation of these two bones and, if there is a misalignment, to gently put them into their proper places. You may wonder why I would bring this treatment up to you....when these two bones, C1 and C2 are misaligned, there is pressure on one side of the brain stem. Every nerve running from that side is affected. Even in cases of illnesses that don't appear to have a cure, the patient can find some relief and increase the quality of their life when the pressure has been removed from the brain stem. We all know how important the brain stem is for life! I strongly urge you to seek out such a chiropractor and prayerfully have your daughter checked (non-invasive, but does include precise x-rays to determine the exact position of the bones). It may help her even in the midst of the treatments she has to go through. Once again, thank you for your openness in sharing and your desire to help others despite your very real pain.

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